As the inevitable evils of Christmas approach, work has started to stock pop-culture calendars for 2009. One of which is the ‘Simpsons Fun Calendar’. This has led me to wonder why it needs to be described as a ‘fun’ calendar, and whether there is indeed an ‘un-fun’ calendar.
Well, just for you lucky people, for November 2008, there is:
…or Indigo Prophecy if you were unlucky enough to be born in the United States and have marketing people give the game a much less cool-sounding name.
Fahrenheit – PC/PS2/XBOX/360
As this was released relatively recently (2005), I would presume most people have heard of this game. Billed by the makers as ‘anything but a standard third-person action adventure’ * the game focuses on three main characters; two police officers, Carla, the female one, Tyler, the stereotypical African-American one, and Keanu Reeves Lucas, the more-main-than-the-others character. He is not a cop.
You may have noticed already that this review isn’t taking itself too seriously. The principal reason for this is that after a certain point in the game, it becomes very hard to take Fahrenheit seriously at all. Before this point, I would list Fahrenheit as one of the best third-person adventure games I’ve played, but afterwards, as a friend says: “It all goes a bit batshit.” The plot starts as a suspenseful murder-mystery, as you control Lucas evading the police and trying to prove his innocence, whilst also playing the part of the police officers trying to track him down. So noir, so good. You even influence the scenarios the other characters will face, such as whether you hide/find evidence, ask/answer questions, and build good/bad relations with friends and family members.
Do you hide the body? Do you wash your hands? Did you flush? Do you change your fashion sense to look less like a homicidal maniac?
Almost everything in-game is timed somehow, so that you act on the spur of the moment, and as naturally as possible. This includes having only a few seconds to answer questions in, or 24-esque split screen moments as you attempt to accomplish a task before the police arrive. Most of the game’s actions are controlled using the two analogue sticks on the controller, or (in what I found the easiest way) a combination of WSAD and the Arrow keys on the PC. This control method works superbly at first, meaning you can get involved in the game from the off, without having to worry about learning fiddly button combinations. Action sequences are controlled in a similar way, with either two flashing circles corresponding to a combination of the directions you can press, or a bashing of certain buttons to perform an action.
However, as you progress through the game, you realise that’s it. Aside from a shooting-range section, there’s never more to do in action scenes than match on-screen flashes, like a European arthouse version of Parappa The Rapper. Then, as you start to get a bit tired of this, the ‘batshit’ kicks in, and the action scenes are a direct rip off highly influenced by The Matrix.
Lucas Kane. An average guy, hanging onto an average helicopter, in the midst of an average pre-apocalyptic blizzard.
Once things start going weird, the game falls apart very quickly. What was once a suspense-filled game, that drew you into the plot perfectly, is now a by-numbers videogame pile of rubbish, with important characters and plot-points ‘revealed’ no more than an hour before the game ends. It all descends into one of the most disappointing end-fights in gaming history, where it’s the same old action mechanics, and, (edited to remove the most stupid spoiler in history.)
I couldn’t find any action shots of Carla, so here she is in her underwear instead.
Overall, Fahrenheit is a rewarding game experience for the first half, and then unbelievably stupid for the second half. It’s worth the 1200 Points currently on the Xbox Live marketplace (approx. £10) but that’s all.
Pros: Strong starting story, easy-to-learn controls, non-pretentious nudity.
Cons: Weak second half, controls get repetitive, two annoying stealth sections.
…and with internet. Last time I posted, I was getting ready to move, so I set up a torrent, and left it running, coming back to internet access for emails only. Then, at the new flat, no internet for a while, and recently, I’ve just been busy playing shiny games. It’s a hard life.
I’m worried that, in the future, any kids I have will outshadow my current (pretty high) grasp of technology, so that when I’m a parent, I won’t be able to set up the Holo-Recorder, or switch on my Rocket Boots to get to Space-Work. I could avoid this by not having any kids, but then I’d have a Holo-Recorder, and not know how to use it.
I noticed that there doesn’t appear to be any sort of helpful reading guide for going through Titan Books’ reprints of the Generation 1 Transformers comics, from Marvel and Marvel UK, in chronological order. So, I’ve done my best to compile a list of my own.
I’ve broken the list down into issue-runs which form a story-arc, and named the graphic novel in which they can be found in brackets. Once you reach US #56, Simon Furman from Marvel UK takes over the writing of both sets of comics, and so the run is easier to follow, by simply reading the US collections from there.
There are also some black+white reprints of later UK comics Titan Books did, but I’ve never tracked those down, hence why they don’t appear on the list. If I do, I’ll see where they fit in, and add them where appropriate.
Transformers US #1-6 (Beginnings)
Transformers US #7-12 (New Order)
Transformers UK #45-50 (Dinobot Hunt)
Transformers US #13-16 (Cybertron Redux)
Transformers UK #59-65 (Second Generation)
Transformers US #17-18 (Cybertron Redux)
Transformers US #19-20 (Showdown)
Transformers UK #74-77 (Dinobot Hunt)
Transformers UK #78-88 (Target: 2006)
Transformers US #21-22 (Showdown)
Transformers UK #93 (Second Generation)
Transformers US #23 (Showdown)
Transformers UK #96-100 (Prey)
Transformers UK #101-102 (Fallen Angel)
Transformers UK #103-104 (Prey)
Transformers US #24 (Showdown)
Transformers US #25-27 (Breakdown)
Transformers UK #113-120, Annual (Fallen Angel)
Transformers US #28-30 (Breakdown)
Transformers US #31 (Treason)
Transformers UK #130-131 (Time Wars)
Headmasters #1-4 (Trial By Fire)
Transformers UK #132 (City of Fear)
Transformers UK #133-134 (Legacy of Unicron))
Transformers UK #135-136 (Prey)
Transformers UK #137-138 (Legacy of Unicron)
Transformers US #32 (Treason)
Transformers US #35-36 (Treason)
Transfomers UK #145 (Second Generation)
Transformers UK #146-153 (Legacy of Unicron)
Transformers US #37 (Treason)
Transformers US #38-39 (Trial By Fire)
Transformers UK #160-161 (Space Pirates)
Transformers US #40 (Maximum Force)
Transformers UK #164-171 (City of Fear)
Transformers UK #172-173 (Space Pirates)
Transformers US #41-42, 44 (Maximum Force)
Transformers UK #182-187 (Space Pirates)
Transformers UK #188 (City of Fear)
Transformers UK #189 (Time Wars)
Transformers US #45 (Maximum Force)
Transformers US #46-48 (Dark Star)
Transformers UK #198 (Second Generation)
Transformers UK #199-205 (Time Wars)
Transformers US #49-50 (Dark Star)
Transformers US #51-55 (Last Stand)
Transformers US #56-62 (Primal Scream)
Transformers US #63-68 (Matrix Quest)
Transformers US #69-74 (All Fall Down)
Transformers US #75-80 (End Of The Road)
So, in the past few days, with birthday celebrations and such, I’ve finally seen three movies I’ve been meaning to see for a while now, some more recently than others.
Futurama: Bender’s Big Score
After the announcement of more new Futurama a small while back, I was looking forward to this with glee. Then, it arrived, and suddenly the experience of The Simpsons Movie came flooding back. Make no mistake, Bender’s Big Score is simply one extended episode, with the gaps between jokes also extended. It’s still funny in parts, but even Dr Zoidberg falling for a Nigerian scam email fails to save this from being a disappointment. Thankfully, the second release, Beast With a Billion Backs, is a much better affair, but I’ll leave that for another time.
Stardust
In tenuous link mode, I saw the trailer for this when I went to see the aforementioned Simpsons movie at the cinema, and knew I had to see this movie, as it seemed to echo the fantasy greats of the 1980’s, such as The Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Adventures of Baron Munchausen and The Princess Bride. Unfortunately, due to time and money constraints, I never managed to see it at the cinema, and recently picked it up on DVD.
I’m glad that I did (under the advice of my best friend Eilidh), as it’s without a doubt one of the best fantasy films I’ve ever seen. The characters are charming and charismatic, the backdrops are breathtaking, and the story is a classic fairy-tale, unmarred by modern sensibilities. Aside from one slightly deus ex machina part towards the end, I couldn’t find a single fault with this film, and even then, being a fairy-tale, I think I can forgive some previously-unexplained magic saving the day.
The Birds
A Hitchcock classic, but one that I hadn’t actually seen up until tonight. Even though the effects obviously look a little dated nowadays, it’s quite surprising how tense the film still manages to be. The claustrophobic nature of the small town works perfectly, and as I somehow have never had the ending spoilt for me, I was kept on the edge of my seat throughout, wondering how things were going to pan out. The film starts out my planned run-through of a collection of Hitchcock films, due to HMV having a generous boxset of about 12 films going for £25. (Plus i picked up North by North-West separately at the same time.)
So, that’s three catch-ups there, and hopefully I’ll be returning to my usual Music Mondays and Good Gaming Fridays soon enough. The VS System related stuff is going to remain laying low until I manage to buy some new cards, and get back into being able to actually play it.
Until next time, toodle-pip.
Been away for a bit, as it was exam season/lots of work/travelling/lack of money for VS. System stock. Now I’m back, with a random aside stemming from my Ars Magica roleplay group. Whilst discussing some movies, I mentioned that I hadn’t seen Fight Club, but had seen enough clips, and heard enough from people that I could piece together the plot.
So, here’s my attempt to have a semi-coherent script for Fight Club:
Fight Club: A Movie Starring, and Possibly Written, Produced and Directed by Brad Pitt.
ACT 1: A Suburban Home, With One Of Those Odd Kitchens Where The Floor Level is Lower Than The Rest of The House.
-> It’s morning, and a man in a generic shirt and tie walks in on his wife in the kitchen.
Bruce Banner: Hi honey, did you sleep well? I can’t stay for long, I’m late for work after our perfect marital sex overran by exactly 17 minutes and 27 seconds.
Corpse Bride: That’s okay perfect husband. How’s your head, I know you’ve had trouble sleeping lately, which I’ve heard can really effect your ability to sell cars at your incredibly frustrating job.
Bruce Banner: I’ll be okay, just so long as silly customers and arrogant workmates DON’T MAKE ME ANGRY I should be fine, and not suffer any sort of mental illness whatsoever. Or random monster-transformations.
Bruce drives to work, and gets into a stressful situation in a traffic jam, causing him to reach for a prescription capsule in the glove compartment, where there’s also a gun/knife/knuckle-duster.
Bruce Banner: Damn it, I’ve run out of my pills for my headaches and sleeping problems. This might be a problem in the forseeable future. TO THE DOCTOR’S SURGERY!
ACT 2: The Doctor’s Surgery
As Bruce walks in, he starts looking at the various sick people, and tries to keep away from them. He eventually gets to his doctor.
Doctor Strange: I’m sorry Bruce, due to budget cuts from our incredibly stressful government, I can’t prescribe you any of your medicine. I sure hope this won’t cause you to go crazy or anything.
Bruce Banner: I’m sure it’ll be absolutely fine Doc, don’t worry about it.
Cue a montage of his day at work being incredibly bad, including spilt coffee down his shirt, being hit by a car in the car lot, and being told he’s getting a paycut.
Bruce Banner: Noooooooooooooooooo!
Bruce ends up in a generic seedy-looking bar. Brad Pitt sits down next to him.
Brad Pitt: Wellitlookslikeyou’rehavingabaddaytherebuddy. CanIbuyyouadrinklike?
Bruce Banner: Sure, whatever. Get me the moddiest drink in the bar.
Brad Pitt: Itellyouwhat, Iknowagreatwaytorelievestress. Finishyourdrinklikeandfollowme.
Bruce finishes his Bailey’s, and follows Brad Pitt down a dark alley, to a clangy metal door. Brad Pitt knocks on the door to the tune of a nursery rhyme. It’s opened by a gruff man, and Bard & Bruce enter an abandoned store-room with a judo mat on the floor.
Brad Pitt: ThisistheFightClublike. There’stwentysevenandahalfrulesforFightClub, thefirstisthatyoudon’ttalkaboutFightClub. Becauseofrulenumberone, nobodyknowswhattheothersixteenandahalfrules are. Sowealljustquotethefirstrule,andhopeitcatchesonwithcultsocietylike.
Brad Pitt then challenges a random guy from the assorted crowd to a fight. It happens to be loveable rocker Meatloaf.
Meatloaf: I’m gonna pound you like a bat out of hell Brad!
Brad Pitt: Bringit.
Brad performs a Hadoken, and sends Meatloaf through a wall. There’s a stunned silence as Brad walks over to Meatloaf. He then grab’s Meatloaf’s hand, picks him up, and everyone cheers.
ACT 3: MONTAGE OF DOOM
Bruce begins fighting regularly at the club, and arriving home late, to the frustration of his wife. Eventually, Brad takes Bruce aside for a private chat.
Brad Pitt: NowBrucemyfriend, we’vegotaspecialprojectgoingon, butweneedsomefunds. Iwantyoutohelpmeraisesomefunds, forthisspecialprojectIcan’ttellyouaboutjustyet.
Brad takes Bruce outside a factory.
Brad Pitt: Nowthen, we’regoingtomakesoaplike, butwe’lldoitonthecheap. Now, grabtheserandomsacksofhumanfatfromthedumpster, andwe’llgobacktoyours.
Cue Brad and Bruce making human-fat soap in Bruce’s bath-tub whilst his wife is out. She returns to find approximately one million bars of soap in her house, and starts arguing with Bruce.
Brad Pitt: Nowthen, Bruce, letmehandlethislike, IthinkIcansettlethingsout, andexplainwhat’sgoingontoyourwife, youjustgooutsideandcooldownabitlike.
Bruce goes outside and into his car. Brad comes out a few minutes later, and dumps the soap in the back of the car. They then drive to Fight Club, where they give the soap to a gruff man, who then proceeds to sell human-fat soap at wherever it is you can actually sell human-fat soap.
Bruce Banner: So, what do we do with the money? We going to party it up, or put up some drapes in the Fight Club?
Brad Pitt: Now, that’sjustsillymate. We’regoingtoblowupaloadofbuildingwithbombs. Allpaidforwiththesoapyoumade, and completelytraceablebacktoyourhouse. Let’sgo.
ACT 4: Skyscraper Building Car-Park
Bruce Banner: I don’t know if I want to do this. Isn’t blowing up buildings a bad thing? Plus, I don’t want to get my perfect wife involved.
Brad Pitt: Nowthen, don’tworryaboutthat. Ikilledherwhilstyouwereinthecar, soshecan’tpossiblybeaproblem.
Bruce Banner: Noooooooooooooo!
Bruce then turns into the Incredible Hulk, and has a fight with Brad Pitt. The view switches to the security camera in the car-park, and it shows Bruce fighting with himself. Brad Pitt wins the fight, and leaves Bruce in the car-park, proceeding to blow up the building.
ACT 5: Epilogue
A series of flashbacks reveal that Brad Pitt was in fact not real, and was an extension of Bruce Banner’s personality, brought about by his lack of medication. As he became more stressed, ‘Brad’ became more violent in his stress relief, resulting in Bruce killing his perfect wife, and being the one who sets up the blowing-up of the buildings.
The film then ends on this ‘cliffhanger’, with some cheesy rock music.
I thought I’d put up a message a few days ago, but apparently not. It’s exam-season for me right now, so I’m concentrating on revision, which means I don’t have much free time at the moment. Plus, when I do, I want to spend it away from my room where I’ve been cooped up reading all day, rather than on the PC.
My last exam’s on the 15th, so hopefully should be back to normal after that.
“L-look at you h-hackers, a p-p-pathetic creature of m-meat and b-bones…”
No, I haven’t suddenly turned into Gareth Gates, that’s the near infamous line quoted to you during the Sound Test part of the install to an all-time PC classic that nobody bought:
System Shock – PC (DOS)
System Shock is a name many PC gamers might know, a cult classic from 1994, that brought so many new ideas to PC gaming, that the reason it flopped sales-wise is still a mystery. The game itself is a first-person action/adventure game. If you want it that way. Or it could be a first-person shooter. Or a purely puzzle-based first-person adventure. One of the innovations System Shock included was the ability to assign four ‘levels’ to different aspects of the game, such as Puzzles and Combat. A ‘1′ would practically remove it from the game, for instance in Combat, enemies would ignore you, and be killable in one hit. A ‘4′ in Puzzles would give you the hardest variations of the puzzles available and set a time-limit on the game.
The reason for a potential time-limit is that the game is set on the Citadel space station orbiting Earth, circa 2072. The rogue AI, which you helped to remove the ethics-restrictions on, SHODAN, has taken over the station, killed or zombified the inhabitants, and plans to strike the Earth with the station’s giant mining laser. Thus, it’s up to you to thwart SHODAN, and also to survive.
The environment is rendered in full-3D, in comparison to Doom II’s 2.5D graphics, which allows you to perform a variety of actions not found in most games of the time, such as looking up and down, climbing surfaces, crouching and leaning, and more. There was even mouse-based aiming, numerous amounts of digital speech, and high-resolution graphics.
Look! Real 3D! Take that Doom…and your sweet, sweet deathmatch and..oh, yes, System Shock forever!
So, aside from the technical marvels, what makes System Shock so fun to play? Darting from corridor to corridor, low on effective ammunition, SHODAN contacting and taunting you at every step, the game is an early example of the survial horror, except viewed from a first-person perspective. It’s hard to beat the adrenaline rush the game can give you at times, and the, using an ominous-looking headset, the gameplay changes entirely, as you get sent into cyberspace.
The Internet: Apparently it *is* actually a series of tubes.
The cyberspace areas of the game can best be described as a wireframe version of another PC classic, Descent. Without wanting to spoil the plot of the game, I advise getting used to the different controls, as cyberspace is used to open locked doors and the like, as well as combat certain enemies. And yes, the plot. Unravelled over time via the personal logs you find dotted around the space station, you get to follow the last days of the crew of the Citadel, hearing their panicked voices contemplate what’s to come, and how they try to figure a way to defeat SHODAN, and was a device picked up in System Shock 2, and of course, the spiritual successor to the series, Bioshock.
You can also zoom the playing screen to full-size to remove that pesky inventory. Who needs health when you have a laser-gun?
Overall, System Shock is a game that needs to played not just because it shows how far PC games have really come in the past 14 years, which aside from advances in graphics, is not very much, but also because it’s cracking good fun to play as well.
Pros: Amazing content, even for today. One of the best computer-game villains ever.
Cons: Outdated graphics, one annoying platform jumping section near the beginning, tricky to get running on modern PCs.
So, had a busy couple of days, as usual for the end of the week, though more than usual due to exams on Thursday and Friday. Saturday evening was taken up by Doctor Who and a work night out, so it’s up to today to make up for what we’ve missed. The first being this lovely piece of equipment, courtesy of Soshi Kenpachi over at his Tek Upgrade blog:
Wait a second…I’ve seen that before somewhere…
Anyhows, enough of that silliness, and on to the mini-review, as Mr Kenpachi has gone into it in almost as much depth as the card can possibly have discussed about it. A 0-cost, non-unique, concealed-optional, stun-remover is pretty darn nice. In order to offset that rather nice effect, it’s character-stamped to Dickhe.. Iron Man. Of course, as I’ve digressed with all of the character-stamped plot twists and locations so far, it’s an ample card for Mystique, Shapely Shifter to use and abuse.
With the upcoming metagame likely to involve a lot of Hulk beatdown decks, having Mystique up front, and non-stunning (and thus, not receiving breakthrough as well) will mean a much tougher time for your opponent to try and finish the game at Turn 4/5, the time Mystique is able to come into play. Of course, there’s only going to a maximum of four of these cards in your deck, so they need to be used sparingly, but coupled with Iron Man’s other legend-content revealed this week, Stark Armory, you’re much more guaranteed to be able to accrue those +1/+1 counters, and thus beef up Mystique to avoid too much of a beating in the later turns. There’s also the fact that your opponent is going to be forced into tactical decisions of when to use cards such as Righteous Anger, as recovering Hulk to attack again may be a waste if the person he’s attacking can just avoid being stunned.
Actually, it looks like Iron Man could be a rather potent character for Marvel Universe. Shame he’s a di…rector of S.H.I.E.L.D.
So, we’ve had two previews come up now, the first being the real version of the S.H.I.E.L.D Helicarrier:
Not pictured: This Helicarrier is in fact on it’s side having been hacked again, and speeding towards the ground.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t crash and burn into New York City like it should do, but I think we can just about forgive it, due to that rather tasty card-text. Popping three of your S.H.I.E.L.D Agents/ 2 Agents & Squirrel Girl back into your hand, which makes them ready to recruit all over again is a small price to pay for the ability to attack the support row, and have that sometimes-vital +2 ATK, whilst the card is safe and sound of course.
The cost may seem slightly restrictive, but on Turn 3, you can flip this card over once there’s three resources, pick up your 3-cost combination of past characters, and then recruit them all over again for endurance burn, saving you some characters for later turns. Let’s not forget Squirrel Girl allows you place a 1-cost S.H.I.E.L.D Army character into play alongside her, which means you’ll potentially have 6 endurance burn for the start of the turn, as well as the extra character on the board. It’s a small bonus, but I’ve learnt never to turn my nose up at the small bonuses.
The next card is:
Is it really smart to wear a metal helmet during a lightning storm if you’re a robot?
An odd card this one. The effect in the card-text doesn’t really scream “7-drop” to me. And to be honest, by Turn 7, you shouldn’t, in my opinion, have a very large hand. At this stage in the game, most Plot Twists should be spent, characters used for +1/+1 boosts etc. So, this card to me has rather limited potential, especially as it’s not all the cards you discard, but just the S.H.I.E.L.D characters you discard that go towards the ‘X’ amount.
From the looks of things, S.H.I.E.L.D will have two strategies to play around with; the off-curve swarm, and a more standard on-curve featuring the ‘big names’, as I have no doubt Nick Fury will see at least one other version, and Iron Man’s down for legend status, so I’d guess a 6-drop as well at the very least.
We’ll just have to wait until tomorrow’s preview to see how things pan out, so adios for now.
